1. Thou shall eat Chinese food.
2. Thou shall feed Keith Jesus before adhering to Commandment 3, ALWAYS.
3. Thou shall distribute food among your faithful Penguin brethren, but refuse the Seagulls of such nourishment.
4. Thou shall get thy groove on like a true Penguin.
5. Thou shall feed and respect St. Trashcan, for she is our patron saint. ...although she is a whore.
6. Thou shall make a daily pilgrimage to Benchusalem, when the weather is not snowy, cold, or raining, or circumstances do not permit it, like the invasion of the Administration Forces.
7. Thou shall be friendly to the seagulls in person, unless they do unto Penguins, St. Trashcan, and Benchusalem.
8. Thou shall keep your distance from Radioactive Seagulls, for they are the worst kind.
9. Thou shall put no robot-gods before Lindseygod, but you can worship them too as long as Lindseygod is loved the best.
10. Thou shall <3 and respect all Penguins...except all those losers who are almost Seagulls.